Category: Los Angeles

Charlie Sheen Not Winning With HIV Confession

Sheen HIV jpgCharlie Sheen’s life of doing drugs & doing porn stars has changed his blood type from Tiger to HIV and expect a conga line of ‘Goddesses’ he knowingly infected to file a Class Action lawsuit.sheen tweets 2 jpgSheen’s reportedly known of his HIV for years, which probably fueled his race to film enough episodes of Anger Management to lock up syndication money as his future earning status is now TBD.Sheen HIV 2 jpgCharlie Sheen needs to change his drinking habits from Jack Daniels on the rocks to Magic Johnson’s HIV cocktail he’s been drinking for nearly 25 years.

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Tom Selleck’s In Hot Water During Cali’s Drought

Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 5.44.59 PMGov. Jerry Brown ordered Tom Selleck & California’s other 39 million residents to conserve water during the Golden State’s 4-year drought where everyone complied, except Señor Selleck.Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 5.58.14 PMSelleck also stole water in 2013, but these stolen magnums of water at the end of March 2015 were days before Gov. Brown’s statewide mandatory water reduction on 5/1/15, ironically April Fools Day.Screen Shot 2015-07-08 at 6.47.09 PMSelleck was gay-shamed by the media exactly 18 years ago when he publicly had to state he *wasn’t gay*, but unlike rumors, this time pretend Magnum P.I., was caught by a real life P.I.

Written By Bob Hellman
Twitter @bobhellman
Email☛ staff@dailydeets.com

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Jennifer Lopez Mansion Sale Equals Double Down

Screen Shot 2015-02-01 at 11.04.02 AMZJennifer Lopez is selling the 17,000 sq. ft., 9 bedroom, 11 full/2 half bath house where her marriage to 3rd husband Marc Anthony fizzled & won’t be around for new neighbors Kim & Kanye’s housewarming.Screen Shot 2015-02-01 at 11.40.25 AMJLo must feel the asking price of $17 million is her lucky number, it’s also her annual salary for American Idol.

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Mamba, Fish & The Zen Master's Full Circle Triangle

Screen Shot 2014-11-02 at 1.57.26 PMKobe Bryant’s a free agent in 2015 & amidst retirement rumors, Bryant could add years to his career helming the Knicks triangle as defenses would double against Carmelo & Kobe, making the moving triangle more confusing than a Times Square shell game.Screen Shot 2014-11-02 at 3.23.50 PMIf Jeanie Buss wants to do the right thing by her longtime fiance Phil Jackson, she should gift wrap Kobe & leave him under the tree at Rockefeller Center for Christmas.

The Lakers are in the toilet due to the 2011 trade veto by former NBA Fuhrer, David Stern, which would have sent Chris Paul from the then-league owned Hornets to the Lakers.Screen Shot 2014-11-02 at 2.46.05 PMKobe owes nothing to the Lakers, he & Phil Jackson are the reason they won consistently producing 5 titles – only to have a reunion quashed by knucklehead owner via daddy’s inheritance, Jim Buss.

email: bob@dailydeets.com
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Bruce Jenner's Bad Hair Day Is Miss Leading

Screen Shot 2014-10-06 at 4.08.10 PM Screen Shot 2014-10-06 at 7.25.04 PMBruce Jenner’s newly divorced from Kris & felt the best place to debut his new coif – while squashing sex change rumors – would be attending an Elton John concert.Screen Shot 2014-10-06 at 7.58.32 PMBruce’s new Dominican blowout has taken years off the 64 year old fashionista who is wildly famous & wildly rich – for a dude that only won 1 Olympic Gold Medal in 1976.

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Kris & Bruce Jenner's Pre-Nup-Less Divorce Asks The $125 Million Dollar Question

Screen Shot 2014-09-23 at 4.54.22 PMKris & Bruce Jenner’s 18 month estranged separation is finally over, as their 23 year marriage – which produced two children and one reality TV show has rendered the Kardashian Klan Kaput.Screen Shot 2014-09-23 at 5.07.54 PMKUWTK isn’t headed off the E! channel any time soon, as the only person who will tell them when it’s over is the one who signs their checks – Ryan Seacrest.

 

Kris & Bruce are separately mourning the death of their marriage grieving the only way they know how; by buying first-class whips & first-class plane tickets.Screen Shot 2014-09-23 at 5.11.21 PMThe clock is clicking until Kris dumps the ‘Jenner’ moniker & legally changes her name to Kri$ Karda$hian.

Email ☛ staff@dailydeets.com
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Lakers Need Byron & Bryant To Create Showtime 2.0

Screen Shot 2014-07-28 at 12.46.50 PMByron Scott‘s 15 year NBA career netted the shooting guard 3 titles during 11 years playing in the Showtime Lakers era, but those teams had Magic & Kareem – while today’s Lakers have an aging Kobe & Jeremy Lin.Screen Shot 2014-07-28 at 12.55.27 PMScott’s sub-par coaching record does include being named the 2008 Coach Of The Year with the Chris Paul led Hornets & also took the Jason Kidd led Nets to their only finals appearances, back to back in 2002 & ’03.

Kobe has 2 years left with the Lakers & while the face of the franchise wasn’t consulted about hiring former coach Mike D’Antoni – who led them to a franchise worst 27-55 – Bryant got his man in Byron.Screen Shot 2014-07-28 at 1.04.30 PM Kobe should leave LA to join Phil Jackson, Carmelo & the Knicks with a possible shot at winning two more titles in hallowed MSG – but if he did, Bryant might not get his rightful statue outside of Staples after he retires.

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IRS Gets 20/20 Vision From V. Stiviano About Donald Sterling Via Barbara Walters

Screen Shot 2014-05-03 at 9.57.34 AMBarbara Walters interviewed V. Stiviano who explained her various positions with Donald Sterling & how she went from working for the ‘Donald Sterling Charitable Foundation’ & being paid legit, to being paid in cash.Screen Shot 2014-05-03 at 10.09.52 AMDonald Sterling gave his girlfriend V. Stiviano $2 mil in property & cars in addition to $240k for living expenses, now the NBA owners need to investigate if the baubles of carats Sterling bought for his silly rabbit were purchased with team funds.

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NBA Commish Adam Silver Tells Donald Sterling Hasta Pasta For Life

Screen Shot 2014-04-29 at 3.59.00 PMDonald Sterling turned 80 on the same day tapes of his racist remarks were leaked & within 72 hours, the NBA around gave fans the ultimate birthday present for Sterling. Screen Shot 2014-04-29 at 4.16.23 PMNBA Commissioner Adam Silver’s swift resolution also makes him the best man for the USA to impose sanctions on Vladimir Putin.

Sterling’s ouster as owner depends on a vote amongst the league’s owners needing 75% to get rid of him, but most likely the owners will vote 100% as any owner voting in favor of Donald, would be labeled racist. Screen Shot 2014-04-29 at 4.26.15 PMSterling bought the Clippers in 1981 & has waited over 30 years for the team to be legit contenders for the NBA title – and now he has to watch it on a TV. Hi, Ho, Silver!

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