Who Gives A Twit? ? Chris Evans’ Techie Overload ? Chelsea Handler’s Privates ? George Wallace’s GoFundMe
Chris Evans’ Captain America is the first Avenger, a man who was injected with Super-Soldier Serum enhancing his strength, speed and endurance. Cap was born as Steve Rogers in 1918, which is a period in time that his onscreen counterpart, Chris Evans, would welcome.
Dear All Technology,
Remember the 90’s when you just WORKED??? I don’t need a ‘smart’ feature on my TV, thermostat, lights, music, refrigerator, security cameras, and f-ing car. You’re a major pain in all of our asses. You’re not worth it.
— Chris Evans (@ChrisEvans) January 7, 2019
The only ‘tech’ that Chris needs is to pick up his shield and star in one more solo Captain America movie.
Chelsea Handler lives in sunny Los Angeles, but the Livingston, New Jersey native didn’t experience a Polar Vortex when she lived in NJ, mainly because the phenomenon which originated in 1853, wasn’t a household phrase till 2013.
I’m not sure what a polar vortex is, but I’m pretty sure I lasered all my hair off of mine.
— Chelsea Handler (@chelseahandler) January 29, 2019
When Chelsea lived in Jersey a Polar Vortex was known by it’s technical phrasing of: “It’s fucken cold out.”
George Wallace is Jerry Seinfeld’s best friend since 1976, the pair were roommates for 13 years and George was Jerry’s best man at his wedding, but George’s GoFundMe sounds like something that Kramer would have thought of.
Please support my GoFundMe to buy a catapult for everyone I've ever known. Catapults look fun as shit and are rarely given as gifts. Folks would always remember who they got a damn catapult from. "Oh that? That was from comedian George Wallace."
— George Wallace (@MrGeorgeWallace) January 11, 2019
Wallace’s catapult is a comedian’s ultimate clapback for hecklers.